Outlet

Hi tumblr

So, I’ve been away for awhile.  Not away as in incarcerated, as my old landlord/(who is a)parole officer seems to think on Facebook.  Just…away.  Truth is I’ve been working up the courage to do something I’ve never done before and tonight was the night, so I thought it only fair to let you all in on it.

I used a Biore nose strip.  I did.  You would NOT BELIEVE the stuff that came out of my nose, and obviously I’m not talking nostrils here.  It was a cathartic moment.  I saw all the concrete and drywall dust that I thought were my friends up until tonight.  I saw about 400 grains of pepper, probably from that time I got wasted and shook the pepper shaker on my face but who knows.  I saw bits of the Tim Hortons breakfast sandwich that I thought I finished last week but in my haste must have mashed into my nose instead.  Nose, mouth… they’re pretty close together and when you’re in a rush it’s a free for all. 

Lastly; and I know you won’t believe it, but I found the 3d glasses that I thought had fallen behind the bed when I fell asleep with them on last week.  They were broken.  So, there goes 70 bucks.  But my nose is so shiny and clean now!  I cannot get over it.

Anyway, good chat.  I’ll be back.  Moving to Ottawa to fix up a retirement home with sprinklers so that old people don’t die in a fire.  TTYS

• 25 March 2012
• 5